VERY RANDOM INSANITY!
by Princess Esther of Hyrule
Summary: *Chapter 8 up!*:Strange random Insanity, stuff that will confuse you, and wierd stuff about amendments to the Constitution? R & R! My first INSANE fic!
1. VERY RANDOM INSANITY PART 1!

VERY RANDOM INSANITY!!! (Or.Little nuggets of Wisdom.Or not.) By Princess Esther of Hyrule, Your friendly neighborhood Baklava lovin' Persian! Disclaimer: I don't own any characters here, except for Esther, and I don't own the authors that appear also!  
  
Various lines of insanity: "Lickitung: the other white meat!" Exclaimed Esther. "Dude, you're gettin' a Dell!" Yelled James. "I do solemnly swear that I will refrain from all cookies, whether Macadamia, or chocolate chip, or etc." Said The Crimson Lugia. (TCL: Yeah right!! I would never refrain from cookies! [As if to prove her point, she grabs a humongous bag of Sugar cookies and eats them one by one by one by.etc.] Cookies.yum-yum!)  
  
"The Carrera GT (Porsche): Kills bugs faster!" Announced Giovanni. "Duh." said Tracey, before getting his head beat in by Brock. "Um.what was my line again?" Asked DarkMutatedBrock. "We are the Vulpix (We are the Vulpix), the mighty, mighty Vulpix (The mighty, mighty Vulpix)...etc." Sang the herd of Vulpix. "Cheese Nips!!" Screamed PyroVulpix. "Early to bed, Early to rise, gives us all circles under our eyes." Meowth wisely stated. "Chlorinated bleach.yum-yum-yum.(consumes bleach). MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Llcorp2 laughed insanely (DUH!!). "Baklava.(eats a HUGE piece).MWHAHAHAHAHA! NOW, WITH MY SUPREME HYPER-NESS, I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!" I bellow.  
  
" Where there's smoke, there's my strudel." Misty sighed. "If at first you don't succeed, try going down the water slide without the tuba." Domino said. "If any of you lack wisdom.don't help me with my homework." I reply. "The best-laid plans of mice and men usually aren't about building a better mousetrap." Pikachu said. "Let brotherly love continue.but when he goes to college, I'm getting his room!" Exclaimed Brock. "The best things in life will never be found in my cookbook." Cassidy uttered. "Love thy neighbors as thyself.and aim the baseballs elsewhere." Quipped Butch. "He that sows sparingly will have a very small salad." Replied Mondo. "The shortest distance between two points will never be taken by someone who says, 'Who needs directions? I know exactly how to get there.'" Answered Ritchie.  
  
TUNE IN AGAIN FOR MORE. VERY RANDOM INSANITY!!!! (If you don't come back and read this, I will be forced to sic my Level 100 Mewtwo on you, OK? **You nod your head** Good.) 


	2. VERY RANDOM INSANITY PART 2 Princess Est...

VERY RANDOM INSANITY PART 2!!!  
YAY!!!  
Please read and review!!  
  
Me: MORE INSANE PROVERBS!  
BookGirl2003: Yay!  
Me: Hey, what are you doing in my Fan fiction?  
BG: Um…(sighs as she turns to walk off)  
Me: Ha-ha! Just kidding! You can be in my Fan Fics anytime, along with anyone else who wants to be in them!  
BG: YAY!!  
(That was insane!)  
By the way, new format!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
James: Dude, where's my car?  
Meowth: Jimmy, you don't have a car!  
James: (blushes) Oh, yeah, right.  
  
Esther: The grass is always greener on white pants.  
  
Cassidy: You can lead a horse to water, but he still won't wear the swimsuit.  
  
Jessie: 404 Error. We can't find the page you requested. Please try again later.  
  
Falkner: A bird in the hand is better than one in your shoe.  
  
Karen: The buck stops here, but it's usually just a short visit.  
  
Will: Don't put all your eggs in one basket…or in your locker over summer vacation.  
  
Lance: Never look a gift horse in the mouth - they almost never use mouthwash.  
  
Bruno and Koga: Never judge a book by its cover…or a cake by its bottom.  
  
Giovanni: A double-minded man gets twice the headaches.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A/n: That's all I could come up with...:( But I will be back, with more insane proverbs!!!  
INSANITY ROCKS!!!!!! 


	3. Who wants to date a movie star? Probably...

"Who wants to date a movie star?" By C. R. Bryars (Princess Esther of Hyrule) Disclaimer: I don't own Giovanni (The hot Rocket Boss), Butch (What's he doing on here?), James (Huh?), or Tracey (the incompetent idiot drawer. :P). I own Alex Quebec (Get it? Quebec, Trebec? Oh, never mind.:P) and Esther (No duh!) Here are the characters:  
  
Alex Quebec: 45, horn-rimmed glasses, graying hair, about 5'5" (I checked with my Probe Language Arts teacher, who's met Trebec before. He's not very tall.).  
  
Ms. Esther Caligenia Bryars: 21, long, hip-length black hair, big, but soft violet eyes, about 6'2", thin (size 1½), long eyelashes, wears opal pendant around neck ALL the time, very intelligent, very beautiful, very nice, and is gifted with long-suffering (patience).  
  
Giovanni John Rocket: 22, short brown hair, black eyes, likes the color guard's-red (a red-orange color), about 6'3", very cunning, very clever, very intelligent, sly, and VERY HOT!! (hee-hee)  
  
Butch: Yeah, Ol' frog-voice! Teal hair, about 23-ish.that's it.  
  
James: About 20, purple/lavender hair, um.green eyes, I think.pretty much a wimp.  
  
Tracey Sketchit (BOO!!!): Black hair. That's all I know (that's 'cause I HATE HIM!!!!!!). Okay, let me explain this: This was originally a play for my Probe Language Arts class. I just added some characters to this version. Enjoy!!  
  
ALERT: THIS FAN FIC MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR MENTAL SANITY! PLEASE HOLD ON TIGHT AND ENJOY THE RIDE!! Setting: Some game-show stage (8:00 p.m.)  
  
(Alex walks on-stage)  
  
Alex: Hello, and welcome to another exciting game of "Who wants to date a movie star?"  
  
(crowd cheers)  
  
Alex: I'm Alex Quebec, your host!  
  
(silence)  
  
Alex: Um.well, anyway, let's meet the movie star!  
  
(crowd cheers)  
  
Alex: Born in Lexington, Kentucky, she has won over 5 academy awards & 3 Oscars! She has also starred with Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, and Brad Pitt. Please Welcome, Ms. Esther Bryars!  
  
(Crowd cheers LOUDLY as Esther walks onstage; several whistles are also heard from the stage area)  
  
Esther: Um.hi, ya'll! (blows kiss to guys in the audience; guys in audience all swoon; she then walks over to her seat)  
  
Alex: (a bit flustered) Now, let's meet the contestants!  
  
(crowd cheers as first podium lights up, similar to Weakest Link)  
  
Butch: I'm Butch, I'm 23, and I'm from Celadon City, Kanto.  
  
(James comes running in)  
  
James: What do you mean, Botch?! I'm supposed to be on this show!  
  
Butch: Well, you aren't anymore, so tough!  
  
James: AUTHOR!  
  
(Yes?)  
  
James: Erase him and put me on, please!  
  
(Why?)  
  
James: 'Cause I was who married Esther in the first draft of your character, not Giovanni!  
  
Esther: O_O I got married to him in the first draft of your character draft?!  
  
(If I recall correctly, I think so.)  
  
Esther: (faints)  
  
(Esther?)  
  
Esther: x_x  
  
(Are you okay?)  
  
Esther: x_x  
  
(Guess I have to resort to desperate measures.[throws water on Esther, completely soaking her])  
  
Esther: *coughheywhatwasthatfor?cough*  
  
(you fainted)  
  
Esther: Yeah, because of the shock! And now, thanks to you *coughIgottagochangeclothescough*.  
  
(Okay, we'll wait for you.)  
  
Esther: Gee, thanks a *coughlotcough*.  
  
(Don't mention it.)  
  
(5 minutes later.Esther comes back)  
  
Esther: All right, you may continue (wrings hair out)  
  
(All right.)  
  
(nothing happens.)  
  
(Hey, dude at the keyboard!)  
  
Princess Esther of Hyrule: *_* Huh, huh? What, what?  
  
(Stop snoozing and start typing!)  
  
PEH: Okay, okay.chill out! (types stuff out)  
  
(that's better)  
  
James: hey, whatta 'bout me?  
  
(Oh, okay, I'll erase Butch.)  
  
Butch: No, wait!  
  
(Sorry to do this to you, but, alas, I must. *Grabs the eraser of doom.*)  
  
Butch: Wait a minute, before you erase me.  
  
(Uggh.What?)  
  
Butch: What's the Eraser of Doom?  
  
(The eraser of doom is the portal to the Realm Of No Reyurn.)  
  
Butch: Reyurn??  
  
(Sorry, I meant 'Return'.)  
  
Butch: Oh.  
  
(Anyway, the Eraser of Doom is the Portal to the Realm of no Return, which is where characters I hate, such as Delia and Tracey, not to mention the Twerps, go to once I erase them, and they are never in another one of my Fan Fics ever again! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)  
  
Butch: Wait, AHH! NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!  
  
(Why not? Give me ONE good reason I shouldn't, Kermit the Frog.)  
  
Butch: Kermit?  
  
(Yeah, Kermit, Frog-voice.)  
  
Butch: Ya' know, I could contact the Bureau of Abused Villains (B.A.V.) about this.  
  
(Quit yapping, you incompetent idiot.)  
  
Butch: But.  
  
(SHUT UP!! Now, where did I put the Eraser of Doom (E.o.D.).?)  
  
Butch: Thank goodness she can't find it.  
  
(Ah, here it is! *grins evilly*)  
  
Butch: No, please have mercy!  
  
(Why?)  
  
Butch: Cause.cause, I'm really Giovanni in disguise! Yeah! I'm you love boat incognito!  
  
(Uh-huh. Right, and I'm Danny Devito. And it's dreamboat, you idiot, not love boat.)  
  
Butch: Whatever.  
  
(Well, that doesn't work 'cause He's a contestant.)  
  
Butch: He is?  
  
(Yeah, now goodbye! *erases Butch*)  
  
Butch: Nooooooooooooooo.  
  
(Okay, James, have at it.)  
  
James: Um.I'm James Morgan, I'm 20, and I'm from.um.I don't wanna talk about it.  
  
(Would it happen to concern a certain female, named Jessibe.)  
  
James: NO! (calms down a bit) DON'T EVER SAY THAT NAME!!  
  
Contestant not revealed yet: Oh, please.you're pathetic. Uggh.  
  
(ANYWAY!.NEXT!)  
  
(next podium lights up.)  
  
Tracey: I'm Tracey Sketchit, I'm.uh.23, and I'm from the Orange Islands!  
  
(Tracey ducks as everyone, except Tracey fans, which are few and far between, throws broken bottles, popcorn buckets, tomatoes.you name it, they throw it!)  
  
TCL (The Crimson Lugia): Even chainsaws?  
  
(Yes, TCL, even chainsaws.)  
  
TCL: That are plugged in and the blade is moving?  
  
(Yep, even those.)  
  
TCL: O_O Ooooo..(Throws it at Tracey, but it misses and tears up the curtain behind Tracey instead.) Awww..  
  
(Don't worry, TCL. *Hands TCL a bottle marked "Poison! X_X Do not drink!" * Put some of this in Tracey's martini after the show, and he'll be dead before you can say, "I-love-Giovanni-and-he-loves-me.We're-married-,have-2- kids-,and-live-in-Viridan-City.")  
  
TCL: O_o why would I want to say that, and why does it rhyme?  
  
('Cause I made it up, and 'cause it does, okay.)  
  
TCL: Okay. (sneaks off to his dressing room.)  
  
(CONTINUE!)  
  
(Next podium light up.)  
  
Giovanni: I'm a Giovanni John Rocket, I'm 22, and I'm from Viridian City!  
  
(Anything else you'd like to add for good measure?)  
  
Giovanni: But of course! TEAM ROCKET SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
(ANYTHING ELSE?)  
  
Giovanni: No, I cannot think of anything else.  
  
(Ahem.our little agreement.)  
  
Giovanni: O_o, I have to say that in public?  
  
(Yes.)  
  
Giovanni: Forget it.  
  
(All right. It seems the E.o.D. is going to get some much needed exercise after all.^_^)  
  
Giovanni: O_O You wouldn't.  
  
(I would.)  
  
Giovanni: You wouldn't!  
  
(Try me, hottie!)  
  
Giovanni: -_-;;;Okay, here goes.(takes deep breath) IlovePrincessstherofHyrulemorethananythingelseintheworld.  
  
(Huh? I don't think they understood you. Try it again.)  
  
Giovanni: -_-;;;;; ILOVEPRINCESSESTHEROFHYRULEMORETHANANYTHINGELSEINTHEWORLD.  
  
(Can't understand you, love? Slower and more fluent.)  
  
Giovanni: -_-;;;;;;;;;;; Oh, gosh. Ok, here goes.I LOVE PRINCESS ESTHER OF HYRULE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. There, that better, your majesty?  
  
(Yes, much better. Thank you.)  
  
Giovanni: Thank heavens that's over.(sees Esther) O_O Oh..a vision of loveliness!  
  
(Esther giggles)  
  
Esther:.  
  
(Ahem.ESTHER GIGGLES!)  
  
Esther: Oh, I didn't hear you before.(giggles)  
  
(Thank you.)  
  
Esther: You're quite welcome.  
  
Giovanni: Can we just say I won and I get to go out with you automatically?  
  
(No.)  
  
Giovanni: Aw.why not?  
  
Esther: It's not fair for the others.  
  
Giovanni: ;_; Awww, come on, baby, don't break my heart.  
  
(WHERE'D THAT COME FROM????)  
  
Giovanni: Um.(a bit flustered) the stupid, insane author of this darn Fan Fiction...  
  
PEH: Well, I don't consider stupid to be a complement, but insane sure is one! ^_^  
  
Giovanni: O_o.Okay.  
  
Esther: Ooooo..I like him. He's hot AND funny (giggles as she bats her eyes at Giovanni).  
  
Giovanni: ^_^, Oooooo.man, she's hot.  
  
Esther: Thank you.^_^  
  
Alex: Um.guys.  
  
Giovanni and Esther: WHAT?!  
  
Alex: We gotta get on with the chapter.  
  
Giovanni and Esther: -_- awww.  
  
Alex: Ms. Esther, please sit where you were.  
  
Esther: (grumbles as she sits back down)  
  
Alex: Okay, you three know the rules.correct?  
  
(They nod)  
  
Alex: Okay, here are the categories: "It's all Greek to me", "Literature", and "Stock Symbols." Giovanni, you were the one selected randomly, so you get to go first.  
  
Giovanni: Okay, um.Stocks symbols for.100.  
  
Alex: All right; KO  
  
James: (buzzes in) What is.Kroger?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Tracey: (buzzes in) That was a stupid answer.  
  
James: Hey, you couldn't do any better!  
  
(Tracey and James start arguing.)  
  
Alex: hey, you two, chill!  
  
Tracey and James: grumble, grumble, grumble.  
  
Giovanni: (buzzes in) What is the Coca-Cola Company?  
  
Alex: You are correct.  
  
Giovanni: Symbols for 200.  
  
Alex: ANF  
  
Tracey: (buzzes in) Can I buy a vowel?  
  
James: (buzzes in.) DOH!  
  
Alex: Um.no.(to the author) was that in the script?  
  
(Um.no.oh well. This is an insanity Fic, so we don't need a script. *Tosses script*)  
  
Alex: O_O;;;; Oh boy.(to Tracey) um.no, wrong game show.  
  
Tracey: Oh.  
  
Giovanni: (buzzes in) What is Abercrombie and Fitch?  
  
Alex: Correct.  
  
Giovanni: Stock symbols for 300.  
  
Tracey: (A/N: Okay, instead of 'buzzes in', it's now *beep*. So.*Beep*) BANK!  
  
Alex: Um.wrong show.again.  
  
Tracey: (matter-of-factly) Right, I knew that.  
  
James: Sure, dumb*ss.  
  
Tracey: O_O DID YOU JUST CALL ME A DUMB*SS??  
  
James: Yeah, so what if I did, shrimp?  
  
Tracey: Grr.Now you're going to get it, you SOB (Son of a you-know-what ()! (Lunges at James)  
  
(O_O Oooo.this is getting exciting! *Settles down with some popcorn.*)  
  
Alex: (sweatdrops) -_-;;; Uh.guys?  
  
Tracey and James: (Are now in the process of pulling one another's hair out.) WHAT?!?!  
  
Alex: STOP FIGHTING!  
  
(They don't stop fighting.)  
  
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!  
  
(Jerry Springer walks onstage and pushes Tracey and James away from each other)  
  
Jerry: All right, you two! Break it up; break it up!  
  
Giovanni: O_O Jerry.  
  
Esther: O_O Springer?  
  
Both: What the h*ll is going on here!?  
  
(That's what I'd like to know.)  
  
Esther: O_O But you're the almighty author of this fic.  
  
(That's right, I am.)  
  
Giovanni: Then why don't you know what's going on?!  
  
(Well, I kinda didn't finish the script.()  
  
Giovanni: O_O What do you mean?  
  
(Well, I stopped at your line, 'Stock symbols for 300.' And EVERYBODY knows what happens when an insane author doesn't finish her script and writes the fic anyway.)  
  
Esther: You mean?? *gasps as she realizes what has happened.* Oh, the horror!  
  
Giovanni: What, sweetie?  
  
(Esther whispers something to him, which makes his eyes widen.)  
  
Giovanni: Her whispering makes my eyes widen?  
  
(No. What she's whispering to you makes your eyes widen.)  
  
Giovanni: Oh. Thank you for clarifying.  
  
(You're welcome, hottie. Hee-hee)  
  
Giovanni: -_-;;; I hate it when she calls me that.  
  
(Why, hottie?)  
  
Giovanni: Grr.waitaminute! We're getting off track here! Let's go back to the whispering part.  
  
(Why?)  
  
Esther: 'Cause he said, that's why!  
  
(Sooooo.)  
  
Giovanni: I'll give you a month's supply of baklava.(waves HUGE package of baklava in front of author tantalizingly.)  
  
(All right, you've convinced me! *grabs baklava.* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
Giovanni: Um.why don't you try a new laugh?  
  
(Why?)  
  
Giovanni: 'cause you're copying my style, that's why.  
  
(Soooo..)  
  
Giovanni: Get a new laugh.  
  
(Like.what?)  
  
Giovanni: Like this: FWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! See?  
  
(Okay, I'll try.)  
  
Giovanni: ^_^ okay, now where were we.???  
  
(We were going back to the whispering part.)  
  
Giovanni: Ok.  
  
(Rewind.okay, stop! Okay, here we go. We're back at my line.)  
  
(Well, I stopped at your line, 'Stock symbols for 300.' And EVERYBODY knows what happens when an insane author doesn't finish her script and writes the fic anyway.)  
  
Esther: You mean?? *gasps as she realizes what has happened.* Oh, the horror!  
  
Giovanni: What, sweetie?  
  
(Esther whispers something to him, which makes his eyes widen.)  
  
Giovanni: OH, NO!!  
  
Esther: Oh yes.  
  
Giovanni: O_O YOU DON'T MEAN.  
  
Esther: Yes. I do.  
  
Giovanni: O_O NO!!!!!!! THE HORROR OF IT ALL!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Esther: Yes, ~_~ (plays funeral march) she has gone insane.  
  
(Well, no duh!)  
  
Esther: Wait-a-minute! Why are we talking about that???  
  
(um.I honestly have no clue.)  
  
Esther: Figures. Anyway, back to the action!  
  
(PEH: Yes, let's get this over with. My fingers are getting numb in the real world!)  
  
(Shut up, Cassandra.)  
  
(PEH: O_O HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME??)  
  
('cause I'm you.)  
  
(PEH: Oh, yeah, right.)  
  
Esther: -_-;;;;; Just get on with it so I can go on the freakin' date! Sheesh.why'd I let my agent talk me into this??  
  
(Okay, okay! I'll go to that part again. rewinding.STOP!)  
  
Jerry: All right, you two! Break it up; break it up!  
  
Alex: Hey, what are you doing on MY show?!?!  
  
Esther: Actually, it's mine, since I'm trying to get a date, and it'd better be with the hottie in the Guard's-red (a red-orange color.) suit.  
  
Giovanni: ^_~  
  
Esther: *sighs*  
  
Alex: Whatever, lovebirds. (turns to Jerry.) You, off my show, now!  
  
Jerry: No.  
  
Alex: I'm warning you.OFF!  
  
Jerry: NO!  
  
Alex: STEVE! (Steve walks onstage)  
  
Steve: Yeah?  
  
Alex: Throw him out!  
  
Steve: O_o okay.(Picks up Jerry, throws him over his shoulder, and carries him offstage)  
  
Jerry: Hey, hands off! I could fire you for this, you know! Lemme go! (for some odd reason, you can still hear his yelling when they're 5 blocks away.)  
  
Jerry: (In distance) Hands off! Put me down!  
  
Alex: AUTHOR!  
  
(Oy Vay (Yiddish: roughly translated, it means, "Oh brother.") What do you want now?)  
  
Alex: Erase them, please!  
  
(Oh, okay. *grabs E.o.D.* MWHAHA-I mean, uh.FWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Erases Steve and Jerry* that better?)  
  
Alex: Yes. Let's continue.  
  
(Okay.)  
  
Alex: Umm.you picked "stock symbols" for 300, right?  
  
Giovanni: Yes.  
  
Alex: HDI  
  
Giovanni: *Beep* what is Harley-Davidson, Inc.?  
  
Alex: Correct.  
  
Giovanni: stock for 400.  
  
Alex: HKF  
  
James: *Beep* what is Hardees?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Giovanni: *Beep* what is Hancock Fabrics Inc.?  
  
Alex: Yes.  
  
Giovanni: stock for 1000  
  
Alex: SLB  
  
Tracey: *beep* what is Scientific Atlanta, Inc.?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
James: *beep* what is the Sprint Corp.?  
  
Alex: Nooo.  
  
Giovanni: *beep* what is.Schlumberger, Inc.?  
  
Alex: (blinks in disbelief.) Yes.  
  
Esther: Oooo.I just love a man who knows his stocks.^_^  
  
Giovanni: (does victory sign) Victory.  
  
(Suddenly, Butch comes back onstage)  
  
Butch: I WANT MY SPOT BACK!  
  
(NO! *Erases him* My, the E.o.D is getting a lot of exercise today. ^_^)  
  
Alex: Ahem... select a category.  
  
Giovanni: Oh, ah.literature, 100.  
  
Alex: Okay in this category, name the author: The Hobbit.  
  
James: *beep* Who is J.K. Rowling?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Tracey: *beep* Who is C.S. Lewis?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
James: C.S. Lewis?! You're nuts!  
  
Tracey: I am not!  
  
(they start fighting again)  
  
Giovanni: Um.*beep* may I answer?  
  
Alex: Oh, for the love of Pete, yes!  
  
Giovanni: Who is John Ronald Reuel Tolkien?  
  
Alex: Who?  
  
Giovanni: -_- *sighs* who is J.R.R. Tolkien?  
  
Alex: Yes.  
  
Esther: Finally, a man.  
  
Alex: SHUT UP!!  
  
Esther: Fine then, I'll just leave and this show can get all the bad ratings it wants.  
  
Alex: O_O I mean, our contestants need to concentrate, and so they need silence.  
  
Esther: That's better.  
  
Giovanni: Literature, 200  
  
Alex: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets  
  
James: *beep* who is J.K. Rowling?  
  
Alex: Finally, yes!  
  
James: literature for 1,000  
  
Alex: The Screwtape letters.  
  
Tracey: *beep* May I ask the audience?  
  
Alex: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tracey: well, scr*w you.  
  
Alex: Hey, no more cussing!  
  
Tracey: whatever.  
  
James: um.um.  
  
Alex: ANYBODY?!  
  
Giovanni: *beep* Who is Clive Staples Lewis?  
  
Alex: *sighs* You mean C.S. Lewis?  
  
Giovanni: Didn't I just say that?  
  
Alex: Yes. It's correct.  
  
Giovanni: It's all Greek to me for 300  
  
Alex: The 15th letter of the Greek alphabet  
  
James: *beep* What is Beta?  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Giovanni: *beep*  
  
Alex: Yes, oh master of the board for over 30 questions now?  
  
Giovanni: What is.*counts quickly* Omicron?  
  
Alex: Yes. Sheesh, this guy's good.  
  
Giovanni: Greek for 1,000.  
  
Alex: In the myth, Apollo fell in love with this girl and gifted her with prophecy. When she rejected his love, however, he made it where no one would believe her. *silence for 2 seconds, then.*  
  
Giovanni: *beep* Who is.Cassandra?  
  
Alex: Yes. *beeper sounds* Oh, it seems it's the end of the round. Giovanni is WAY in the lead with 4400 points, and James with 200 points, and Tracey with nothing at all. After the break, we'll have our final round with this as the category: "Video games." We'll be right back.  
  
(applause from audience)  
  
Need help with your homework? Do you lack wisdom? If so, call Giovanni's wisdom help line. Ask him a question, and get the right answers! Call now at 1-GET-SMA-RT67. That's 1-800-968-5267. Call now! *coughFreeforoneminute,thenallcallspastoneminuteare50bucksaminutecough*  
  
Alex: Welcome back. Here's our category: "Video Games." And here's the clue: "This Japanese head video game designer created the Donkey Kong games, the Star Fox series, and the Metroid games." 30 seconds, good luck.  
  
Esther: Yeah, go Giovanni! *whistles*  
  
Giovanni: o^_^o (he's blushing.)  
  
(Jeopardy Theme plays)  
  
(all three contestants scribble something down.)  
  
(music ends)  
  
Alex: okay, Tracey, you are in last place, so what'd you put down?  
  
Tracey 's board: J.K. Rowling; 300  
  
Alex: I'm sorry. That's incorrect, and you're now at negative-300. All right, now what did James put down?  
  
James's board: Who is Iwata-san?  
  
Alex: No, he's the creator of the Kirby games. Your wager? 199. That puts you at 1 point. Okay, Giovanni?  
  
Giovanni's board: 0044;?otamyiM uregihS si ohW  
  
Alex: Huh?  
  
Giovanni: What? *checks board* Oops, silly me! *blushes as he turns board right side up.*  
  
Giovanni's Board: Who is Shigeru Miyamato? ; 4400  
  
Alex: Correct, and you have doubled your score, making you the lucky winner!  
  
(crowd cheers loudly)  
  
Giovanni: ^_^ Victory once again.  
  
Esther: *walks over to him and tugs on his arm* Come on, Vanni! Let's go get some dinner, my treat!  
  
Giovanni: No, I'll pay for it!  
  
Esther: You can pay for the next one! Come on! (they walk off-stage)  
  
(backstage, they run into TCL, BookGirl2003, PyroVulpix, and LcCorp2.)  
  
Esther: Hey, ya'll!  
  
TCL: Hey, Esther. So, looks like Gio one, huh?  
  
Giovanni: By a WIDE margin!  
  
LcCorp2: How wide?  
  
Giovanni: 8, 600 points.  
  
TCL: O_O Whoa.  
  
(suddenly, I appear onstage.)  
  
PEH (Princess Esther of Hyrule; me): Did ya', did ya'?  
  
TCL: Yep! ^_^ Once Tracey drinks the Martini, he'll kill over like, like.I don't know, something!  
  
PEH: I bet!! Hee-hee-hee. He didn't get A SINGLE question right!  
  
TCL: Hee-hee! ^_^ (chomps on cookies)  
  
Esther: Hey, um.Vanni? Shouldn't we get going?  
  
Giovanni: Yeah, I guess so. Nice meeting you all! (Esther and Giovanni wave to all the authors as they leave)  
  
Tracey fan entering Tracey's dressing room: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Another Tracey fan: What is it?  
  
First Tracey fan: Tracey's dead!!!!!!!!  
  
2nd one: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  
  
TCL: -_-; uh-oh, I think it's time to amscray.  
  
PEH: Yeah.before they find out who it is.(All the authors run out of the building.)  
  
Jerry: And now it's time for our 'Final Thought'. Our final thought for today is: "Whoever has the most points, gets the babe!" Good night, everybody (but Tracey)!  
  
Epilogue: Esther and Giovanni continued dating, fell in love, got married. 3 months after the wedding, Esther found out she was pregnant.  
  
Giovanni quit his position as the Team Rocket boss, and became a writer.  
  
They had identical twins 9 months later; their names were Caligenia ('Daughter of Beauty') and Giovanna. Esther got pregnant again and had a boy 8 months later. His name was Giovanni, Jr.  
  
Jesse and James got married, quit Team Rocket, and had a couple of kids together.  
  
Cassidy was erased in pity that she and Butch couldn't be together. They got married in the Realm of no Return. They had a boy by the name of Ganondorf. (hmmm.could this be the plot for future stories?)  
  
Domino and Mondo got hitched.  
  
Prof. Oak and Delia finally told Ash his father was Prof. Oak and got married.  
  
Ash and Misty got married.  
  
Alex accidentally drank some of Tracey's poison scotch, keeled over, and died.  
  
A.N. McCormick hated Princess Esther of Hyrule for the rest of her life.  
  
Princess Esther of Hyrule (Cassandra) got married to her friend, Matthew Bates.  
  
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! Well, except for Tracey and Alex! ^_^  
  
Author: How did you all like it????  
  
Read and Review!!!!!!  
  
NEXT CHAPTER, COMING SOON, TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU!!! 


	4. The Insane Song Fic Show! chappie1

THE INSANE SONGFIC SHOW!!!! By Princess Esther of Hyrule  
  
PEH: *pulls Brock from crowd* Do my disclaimer!  
  
Brock: *gets dreamy look in eyes*  
  
PEH: STOP LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT, MORON!  
  
Brock: All right.*still in dream-like state, dreaming about only the Lord knows what.(probably.um.stuff that would make this a PG or PG-13 Fic.^_^;;;)* This vision of pure loveliness does not own any songs listed in any of the chapters, except the versions of songs she made a remake of, and then she only owns the remake.  
  
PEH: Good boy, now.ciao! *picks him up, and throws him to the crowd of Brock lovers, knowing this could mean big trouble for Brock.*  
  
Brock: *as he's flying through air* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Anyway.)  
  
Princess Esther of Hyrule: Welcome to my newest insane fic, THE INSANE SONGFIC SHOW!!!  
  
(Audience cheers)  
  
PEH: Since this is the first chapter, I'll explain what happens. I will pick 1 or more random trainer(s), gym leader(s), E4 (Elite 4) member(s), or Fanfic author(s) from my hat. The ones picked will be forced to sing a random song from a list!  
  
(All gym leaders, E4 members, and any one else listed above try and look frantically for an exit.)  
  
PEH: It is too late for you now! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Anyway...now...who shall be the first victi-I mean contestant??  
  
(pulls 2 slips of paper from the hat.)  
  
PEH: Why, it's PyroVulpix and The Crimson Lugia!! (scans audience) Hmm...it seems they're absent...darn those bakas. Oh well! I'll just have to use my Super-Fanfic-author powers to bring them here! (snaps fingers)  
  
~Meanwhile, in the Author's lounge...~  
  
(TCL, Bookgirl2003, LcCorp2, & PyroVulpix are in the lounge. TCL is playing Solitaire while eating sugar cookies, LcCorp2 is stuffing about 50 gallons of chlorinated bleach into the pantry, BookGirl2003 is working on The Elite 4's Treehouse of Humor, and PyroVulpix is eating Cheese nips while watching TV. All is quite except for the roar of the TV, TCL & PV's crunching, and an occasional groan from Lccorp2 from pushing chlorinated bleach into the pantry. That is, until Giovanni walks in...)  
  
Giovanni: Have any of you seen Esther?  
  
TCL: No, sorry.  
  
Giovanni: :-( Oh...sorry to bother you all. (walks out)  
  
PV: Now, THAT was interesting.  
  
TCL: I wonder where she is, anyway.  
  
Lccorp2 (who wasn't paying the slightest attention.): Who?  
  
PV: Princess Esther of Hyrule.  
  
Lccorp2: Nope, haven't seen her.  
  
BG2003: Haven't seen her since The Elite 4's Treehouse of Humor.  
  
TCL: Yeah, when you held that Halloween Party.  
  
BG2003: (silence as she writes away.)  
  
(suddenly, TCL and PV disappear into thin air.)  
  
LcCorp2: O_O  
  
BG2003: O_O  
  
(They look at each other, then...)  
  
BG2003 and LcCorp2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
  
~At The Fanfic Studio~  
  
(PV & TCL appear before the audience...)  
  
PV: Where are we?  
  
TCL: Before a huge audience in some studio...Hey, this is the Esther-loves- Giovanni Productions, Inc. studio...that means...  
  
PEH: Hey guys!!  
  
(TCL & PV turn around)  
  
TCL: Esther, what are we doing here?  
  
PEH: You guys are part of my newest FanFic!  
  
PV: Does it have insanity in it?  
  
PEH: YOU BET!!!  
  
PV & TCL: Cool!!!  
  
TCL: I love insanity!  
  
PV: So, what do we do?  
  
PEH: Well, I might as well explain again...(author highlights rules from the beginning, hits 'copy', then goes to this part and hits 'paste' 'cause she's too lazy to retype it. ^_~) Okay, since this is the first chapter, I'll explain what happens, again. I will pick 1 or more random trainer(s), gym leader(s), E4 (Elite 4) member(s), or Fanfic author(s) from my hat. The ones picked will be forced to sing a random song from a list!  
  
TCL & PV: O_O!!!! OMGosh!!  
  
PEH: Okay! So, let us see what song you must sing...(pulls out a slip of paper) AH! You two and I must sing "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"  
  
TCL: WAITAMINUTE! Isn't that from Veggietales?  
  
PEH: Yeah. Why?  
  
(PV & TCL make random excuses to get out of it.)  
  
PEH: Come on, It'll be fun.  
  
TCL: Yeah, and I'm going to look like an idiot!  
  
PEH: Soooooooo....^_^  
  
PV: That's...wrong...  
  
PEH: What is?  
  
TCL: Do you like Veggietales?  
  
PEH: UH-HUH!  
  
TCL & PV: O_O;;;;; Eep!  
  
PEH: WOULD YOU RATHER ME MAKE YOU SING THE BARNEY SONG?????  
  
TCL & PV: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
PEH: THEN DO IT!!! (tosses them pirate costumes) Put these on!  
  
(TCL & PV put on the costumes)  
  
PEH: Okay, here we go!  
  
~On the stage...~ (anytime they sing together, I'll put together...)  
  
(Together): We are the Pirates who don't do anything!  
  
(Together): We just stay home and lie around!  
  
(Together): And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...  
  
PEH: We don't do anything!  
  
TCL: Well, I've never been to Greenland, and I've never been to Denver, & I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul. And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa. And I've never been to Boston in the fall!  
  
(Together): 'Cause we are the Pirates who don't do anything!  
  
(Together): We just stay home and lie around!  
  
(Together): And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...  
  
PV (drinks coconut milk): We don't do anything! And, I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to Starboard 'cause I never sail at all, and I've never walked the gangplank and I've never owned a parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!  
  
(Together): 'Cause we are the Pirates who don't do anything!  
  
(Together): We just stay home and lie around!  
  
(Together): And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you...  
  
(Together): We don't do anything!  
  
PEH: Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not to good at Ping-Pong and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall. And I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice and I've never been to Boston in the fall!  
  
TCL: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??  
  
PV: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about...Pirate-y things!  
  
PEH: Oh!  
  
TCL: And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! (to PV) Am I right? What do you think?  
  
PV: I think you look like Capn' Crunch.  
  
TCL: Huh? No I don't.  
  
PV: Do too.  
  
TCL: Do not!  
  
PV: You're making me hungry!  
  
TCL: That's it! You're walkin' the plank!  
  
PV: Says who?  
  
TCL: Says the Captain, I do!  
  
PV: Oh yeah! Aye, Aye, Capn' Crunch! Hee-hee-hee-hee!  
  
TCL: ARGH!!  
  
PV: YIPES!!  
  
PEH: And I've never licked a spark plug, and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big, red, rubber ball, & I've never bathed and yogurt and I don't look good in leggings...  
  
TCL: You just don't get it!  
  
Together: And we've never been to Boston in the fall!  
  
(music ends)  
  
TCL: Pass the cookies (it was originally chips)! Who's got the remote control?  
  
PEH: Here it is!  
  
PV: Time for Geraldo!  
  
TCL: It's definitely time for Wapner.  
  
PV: Oh, I don't like this show...  
  
PEH: Hey, look! I found a quarter!  
  
~backstage...~  
  
TCL: There, we sang the song. Goodbye!  
  
PEH: (Snaps fingers; TCL & PV freeze in their tracks) Not so fast! We've got time for one more song!!  
  
TCL & PV: O_O!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
(They run out of studio)  
  
PEH: *Sigh* I lose more of 'em that way. Anyway, next chapter shall be another ISFS chappie!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author: Insane, yes? Read and Review!!! Next chappie coming soon! 


	5. The Insane Song Fic Show! chappie2

THE INSANE SONGFIC SHOW!!!! By Princess Esther of Hyrule  
  
PEH: *pulls Giovanni from crowd* Okay, hottie, do the disclaimer!!  
  
Giovanni: O_O, OH NO!! Great.the author who tortured me in chapter.um..3, I believe. I'm going to die.  
  
PEH: Dude, I'm just telling ya' to do a disclaimer! Is that so difficult??  
  
Giovanni: ^_^ Oh, I thought you wanted me to participate again! Last time, in chapter 3, I fainted afterwards 'cause of the sheer stupidity of it, and you *shudders violently* tried to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, only it wasn't resuscitation 'cause I was still breathing.  
  
PEH: Quiet, hottie! DO THE DISCLAIMER!  
  
Gio: No.  
  
PEH: I'll kiss you if you don't.  
  
Gio: O_O Okay, this freak-of-nature doesn't own any songs except for song re-makes.  
  
PEH: ^_^ Where there's a Will, there's a.  
  
TCL: Karen (there, Will/Karen shippers)!  
  
PEH: Umm.-_-;;; I suppose so, in some cases, but Um.that's not what I was about to say.  
  
TCL: Oh.(sits down)  
  
PEH: As I was saying, where there's a will, there's a WAY (glares at TCL)!!  
  
TCL: (Puppy-dog-eyes) What? I'm an innocent little almost 13-year-old Crimson Lugia who can do no wrong.  
  
PEH: Uh-huh.right.  
  
TCL: No! Serious, I am!  
  
PEH: WAITAMINUTE! We gotta get started, so quite!  
  
(takes SEVERAL [about, oh.say, 4 pieces] slips of paper from hat)  
  
PEH: ^_^ ALL RIGHT!!! Perfect!! This is going to be beautiful, especially if.(draws song from other hat) ACCKK! YES!!! PERFECT!! Okay, let me get our contestants!! (snaps fingers)  
  
(Giovanni, Link, Esther [from my story, not me], and Ganondorf appear.)  
  
Giovanni: No! No, No, No! *dials number of local mental institution on cell phone*  
  
PEH: What are you doing??  
  
Gio: Dialing the local Charter.  
  
PEH: Why??  
  
Gio: You need help.  
  
PEH: Um.hate to burst your bubble, but Charter closed down.  
  
Gio: Okay, then I'm dialing the local Asylum.  
  
PEH: Forget it. No Asylums around here on FF. Net.  
  
Gio: -_-;;;Oh boy.  
  
Ganondorf: Yes, I am free to wreck havoc on Hyrule and gain the Triforce of the Sacred Realm!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Gio: -_-;;;;;;He's worse than me.  
  
Esther & Link: WHY DID YOU LET HIM OUT?!?!?!  
  
PEH: 'Cause he's in this song.  
  
Link: What song?  
  
PEH: THIS SONG!! *pulls lever; instantly, the 4 victi-I mean contestants, are at the final battle scene from PEH's unfinished story.*  
  
(Don't worry, they know what to do.)  
  
(Song begins; by the by, this is a re-make of "You just can't win" from Pokémon live.)  
  
GANONDORF: YOU'RE WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE  
  
YOU'VE MORE THAN MET YOUR MATCH GIOVANNI: GUESS YOU'RE SLOWING DOWN OLD MAN,  
  
CAN'T HIT WHAT YOU CAN'T CATCH  
  
GANONDORF: SOON THE WHOLE LAND WILL KNOW  
  
THE GENIUS OF MY PLAN  
  
ESTHER: WE WILL FIND A WAY TO STOP YOU,  
  
ANYWAY WE CAN  
  
GANONDORF: YOU'RE SUCH GOODY-TWO-SHOES,  
  
IT'S MORE FUN BEING BAD  
  
LINK: NO ONE'S GOING TO SIDE WITH YOU,  
  
YOU'RE STARK RAVING MAD!  
  
GANONDORF: OH YEAH, JUST ASK YOUR MOTHER!  
  
ESTHER: THAT'S ALL IN THE PAST!  
  
GANONDORF: LISTEN TO ME, LITTLE GIRL,  
  
NICE GUYS FINISH LAST!  
  
GIOVANNI: YOU JUST CAN'T WIN  
  
GANONDORF: YOU'RE NOT THAT STRONG  
  
LINK: TIME TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS  
  
GANONDORF: YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG  
  
YOU JUST CAN'T WIN  
  
ESTHER: GONNA SHUT YOU DOWN  
  
GANONDORF: YOUR CHANCES ARE SLIM  
  
GIOVANNI: NO MORE FOOLING AROUND  
  
GANONDORF, GIOVANNI, LINK, ESTHER: LET THE BATTLE BEGIN  
  
GANONDORF: YOU.  
  
LINK: .JUST.  
  
ESTHER: .CAN'T.  
  
GIOVANNI: .WIN!  
  
~back at studio~  
  
(Audience cheers with delight)  
  
Giovanni: ^_^ (He's wearing his Hero of Time outfit) Crowd pleaser, as usual.  
  
Ganondorf: ;_; WAHHH!!!  
  
PEH: -_-;;; Oh boy.why are you crying?  
  
Ganondorf: *sniff* You just had to *sniff, sniff* remind me of that day.  
  
PEH: ^_^ Oh well! (Ganondorf is transported back to the Dark Realm)  
  
Link, Esther: AHHHHHH!!!!!! (both are tackled by fans)  
  
Esther fan #1: I want a kiss!  
  
Link Fan #1: I want his hat!  
  
Esther: Hey! Get off of me! Hey, no touching there!! Link, help!  
  
Link: Um.I would if I could, but I can't.  
  
Esther: Useless brother.VANNI!!  
  
Giovanni: Sure thing, honey!! (begins throwing men off of her)  
  
Esther: O_O NO, NOT THERE!! Giovanni, hurry! They're touching me the wrong way!  
  
Giovanni: O_O HANDS OFF OF HER!!!!!!! (Begins throwing men off of her at an amazing rate)  
  
(ten seconds later.)  
  
Giovanni: (throws off last guy, revealing Esther underneath, her clothes stretched from the males tugging at them.) You okay?  
  
Esther: Not particularly, no.  
  
Giovanni: Oh, sorry.(hugs her tightly)  
  
PEH: Um... that's the end of our show for today! Tune in next time!!  
  
~~~~ Author: READ AND REVIEW!! 


	6. Mewtwo's Revenge: Part 1!

**Mewtwo's Revenge!!!**

**By Princess Esther of Hyrule**

Princess Esther of Hyrule: Yay! Me next insane chappie!! Now...the thing we all LOVE to hate...the disclaimer!! 

Audience: BOOOO!!!

Peh: Yeah, I know...*grabs Togepi from the crowd* DO ME DISCLAIMER!!

Misty: Hey, you can't take my Togepi!!!

PEH: Shut up, redhead (No offense, redheads. I have nothin' against you, just against Misty!)!! You can have your Togepi back after I'm finished with it, ya' hear?!

Misty: GIVE IT BACK!!

PEH: *sees Togepi sharpening a knife behind its back* Yeah. One second...Togepi?

Togepi: _Toge, Togepprriii!_ Translation: What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?

PEH: Um...yeah, I can. But can you do me disclaimer?

Togepi: _Toge!_ NO!!

PEH: *whispering* I'll take away your knife and sharpening block...

Togepi: _Priii!!!_ Okay, I'll do it! I'll do it!! *Hops onto podium* _Toge...Togepriii! Toge, to, ge, prii!!! Prii, Toge, toge!! Togepriii!_ Ahem...this insane fan Fic author does not own Pokémon or any other insane authors that may be listed. She does, however, own Esther, the Ham-Chat dictionary for the Ham-Chat inept, and this fic and all its contents. _Togeprii!!_ That is all. *goes back to sharpening its knife* _To, Togeprii!_ Oh, and she doesn't own Hamtaro either...

PEH: *sees that Togepi is finished sharpening the blade.* Okay, Misty! You can 'em back now. *Hands Togepi over to Misty*

Misty: Oh thank goodness! Are you hurt?

Togepi: *pulls out knife* _Toge, Togepriii!_ No, but you're about to be!! 8-D

Misty: O_O AHHHHHHHH!!!! *Drops Togepi and runs out of the studio, smacking into Esther, Giovanni, The Crimson Lugia, and Bookgirl2003, who just arrived.*

Giovanni: What th..? *Misty runs by, knocking them all down* Hey, watch it!!

Esther: *gets up, brushing herself off* my, that was strange...*sees the audience 

running towards them, away from the steak-knife-wielding Togepi* O_O Oh my...!!

TCL: What?

Bookgirl2003: EVERYBODY RUN FOR COVER!!

*To say the least, however, they didn't make it to cover in time, and were trampled underneath the feet of the frightened crowd. Don't worry, though, they survived! ^_^ (You don't think I would kill off my own character, do you? Or Bookgirl2003, Giovanni, or TCL, for that matter!)*

*The scene...after the carnage...*

Giovanni: *In pain* Owwie...that hurt...*muscle twitches*

TCL: I feel so unwuved...

Esther: Didn't ya' say that in chappie 43 of "All In A Day's Insanity"?

TCL: No, I said "Major owie. I feel so unwuved ;_;." (A/N: Sorry, TCL, for copying that. Please dun hurt me!!)

BG2003: Same thing...Ow....

Esther: *tries to lift head, but is unsuccessful* I wanna go home and lie on the couch and watch some Hamtaro and Liberty's Kids...;_;

Giovanni: O_o Yeah...something like that...bloody egg thingy...

Esther: *whispering* Shush...it's coming over here...play dead.

Giovanni: No good...I already am...ow....that hurts...

*Camera zooms out a bit to reveal the scene: A criminal mastermind, a giant crimson Lugia, a Hylian girl, and a girl in glasses(a.k.a. Bookgirl2003) all sprawled out on the floor, shoe imprints all over their clothes and bodies, all in a good deal of pain. Now imagine Togepi running over there...*

Togepi: *Running over to them* Come back here, you cowards!

TCL: *whispering* Eep...it knows we're alive...we're dead!

Giovanni: *whispering* o_O Make up your mind whether we're alive or dead, TCL...*flinches*

*Instead of trying to kill them, Togepi simply runs over, jumps onto Esther's head, jumps off, and races after the crowd.*

Matthew/ Esther: *In more pain then she already is from having the baby pokémon jump on her head AND being run over by the crowd...* x_x That hurt...Maybe PEH should call this fic,"When Togepis attack" *pulls out cell phone, dials 9-1-1* Hello, dispatcher? Um...yes. My friends and I just got run over by a crowd of people and we need medical attention...

PEH: -_-;;; Too long of a disclaimer...

~THE STORY (FINALLY!!!!)~

*In a deserted part of the Johto region...*

Mewtwo: *standing before a HUGE control panel* MWHAHAHAHAHA!! Finally, I can now exact my revenge on Giovanni for betraying me!! 8-D MWHAHAHAHAHA!! 

*Pikatwo (Pikachu clone) walks in*

Pika2: Why don't you take it out on Esther instead?

Mew2: O_o Why would I want to do that?

Pika2: Well, Giovanni and Esther are going out...it'd probably hurt their relationship if you did something to her...

Mew2: O_O You're right!!! Even if she is pretty innocent...it's better than taking out the whole bloody planet...*motions towards button labeled "BLOW UP DA PLANET!!"*

Pika2: Yeah...definitely better than that.

Mew2: Now, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!! 8-D MWHAHAHAHA!! *Finishes off his drink, then looks at it with disgust*

Pika2: What is it?

Mew2: Why does my scotch taste like Sprite?

Pika2: Umm...^_^;;;; That's 'cause it IS Sprite...

Mew2: O_o

Pika2: Meowth2 drank the rest of the scotch.

Mew2: o_o All of it?

Pika2: Yeah. *points to Meowth2, who is passed out on the floor*

Mew2: Hmm...so he has...oh well! *tosses glass against cave wall* IT IS NOW TIME TO EXACT MY REVENGE UPON ESTHER!! *Presses button labeled "Exact revenge on Esther"*

~~~

*Elsewhere, at Esther's house in Viridian... (Remember, she and Giovanni are NOT married at this point!) *

Esther: *surfing channels while nursing her wounds from the disclaimer* Spammit...I've got a bloody satellite dish, and there's NOTHING on!!

*Knock at the front door*

Esther: Unnhh...*gets up, which is excruciatingly painful* Who is it? Ow...

The Voice: It is I, Essie! (A/N: Just by the format used in talking, you should be able to figure out who "The Voice" is...)

Esther: O_O cuddlebear? (A/N: -_-;;; I had to think up a pet name, and that's the first one that came to mind...^_^;;;)

The Voice: Yeah, it's me.

Esther: O_O Um...one second! Let me get my hair fixed!

The Voice: For Pete's sake, Essie!

Esther: Okay! *walks slowly (and painfully) down stairs* Coming...ow...ow! Ow! Owwie! *opens door*

The Voice = Giovanni: Oh yeah, I forgot...^_^ you're in major pain. Sorry.

Esther: O_o what are you grinning about for? You're supposed to be hurt too!

Giovanni: I went to the doctor, and they said I'm fine. They gave me a prescription for some painkillers, as well.

Esther: O_O Oh! You have painkillers?!

Giovanni: O_o Yeah...why?

Esther: GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

Giovanni: Hey, calm down! In a bit, in a bit! Let's get you upstairs, first. *Picks her up*

Esther: Giovanni, you're going to hurt yourself even more! Now put me down!

Giovanni: Sorry, no can do. *Heads up the stairs*

Esther: LEMME DOWN!

Giovanni: Calm down! We're already upstairs!

Esther: THEN PUT ME DOWN!

Giovanni: Sheesh...you try to be chivalrous these days, and look how they thank you! *Puts her down on couch*

Esther: Sorry...Now where are those painkillers?!?!

Giovanni: Can't give them to you.

Esther: O_O WHY NOT?!

Giovanni: 'Cause this is a PERSCRIPTION! That means "NO SHARING!"

Esther: Don't you care that I'm in major pain?! ;_;

Giovanni: It's not that...

Esther: ;_; I guess you don't love me anymore...(starts crying)

Giovanni: -_- I'm not falling for it. You'd need a different prescription, and I don't wanna take the chance of you overdosing. And I do love you...*huggles her tightly*

Esther: Well, *sniff* when you put it that way...I guess you do love me...*sniff, sniff*

Giovanni: No duh. *Kisses her cheek gently*

Esther: ^_^ *flinches*Ow...

Giovanni: What?

Esther: I'm just hurting...owie...

Giovanni: I'll go get you an Advil (A/N: For anyone who's read "The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time", that's directly from that!).

Esther: I already took one...it ain't workin'.

Giovanni: -_- Oh.

*Suddenly, Esther faints, and collapses into his arms*

Giovanni: Essie? Essie!

~5 minutes later...~

*Esther comes to, just in time to see Giovanni checking her vital life signs.*

Esther: O_o He-ke...what are you doing?

Giovanni: O_O Essie!! *hugs her tightly* Oh thank goodness your all right!

Esther: No-P, I'm not.

Giovanni: Whatta ya' mean? Are you hurting still? (He hasn't really caught the problem yet.)

Esther: Perksie to the way I talk! Listen to the way I talk!

Giovanni: O_o So? Strange...

Esther: (getting angry) I'm speaking Ham-Chat, and I can't stop!!

Giovanni: O_o Whazat?

Esther: -_-;;; Ham-Chat. What they speak on Hamtaro.

Giovanni: O_O Finally, this PROVES this author has gone crazy!

Esther: -_- *sighs* Yes-P. Yes.

Giovanni: We got to get that author to give you back your vocabulary.

Esther: yeah...*pain returns* Ouchichi!

Giovanni: O_o Um...whazzat mean?

Esther: *hands him "Ham-Chat dictionary for the Ham-Chat inept"* Here.

Giovanni: *looks up word* "Ouchichi" means "Ouch". Oh, okay. I get it. The author has replaced words of your 

vocabulary with Ham-Chat. My, that's a mean way to get revenge...

Esther: (Sarcastic) Tootru? I never would have guessed.

Giovanni: *looks up* "Tootru"..."Really"...Oh. you're being sarcastic.

Esther: -_-;;; This could be a tootru long day...this could be a really long day

~Author's lounge~ 

TCL: *Nursing wounds* PyroVulpix, could you hand me that bag of cookies?

PV: No. Get it yourself.

TCL: *Puppy-dog-eyes* Please??

PV: Oh, all right...*hands TCL cookies*

TCL: Yay! Now if I could just get Falco over here...

BG2003: Owwie...I hurt...now I canna (cannot) work on mah fics till I'm healed up...WAH! 

DClick: Could be worse...

BG2003 & TCL: How?

LcCorp2: Ya' coulda been smashed by a Snorlax.

BG2003: 0_0 Please, don't make me think about that scenario.

LcCorp2: *shrugs* Okay. *Goes back to eating Chlorinated bleach*

*Esther and Giovanni enter*

TCL: Hey, Esther. How are you healing up?

Giovanni: What about me?

TCL: I don't like you...

Giovanni: -_- Well, you could be nice at least.

TCL: I'm not nice to people I don't like.

Giovanni: Obviously.

Esther: I'm healing up greatchu.

TCL: O_o what she say?

Giovanni: She said, "I'm healing up well."

BG2003: Why are you talking like that?

Esther: I can't help it.    

TCL: Oh. Princess Esther of Hyrule's being mean to you?

Esther: Yes-P. Very.

Giovanni: In response to your question, BG2003, HamChat has replaced parts of her vocabulary.

BG2003: O_o you mean from Hamtaro?

Giovanni: Yes. Why?

BG2003: Me no like Hamtaro. Too cute.

Giovanni: That's nice to know. After this, I don't either. Now, to the task at hand...

TCL: Which would be...?

Giovanni: -_- You didn't let me finish.

TCL: Oh.

Giovanni: Ahem, anyway, as I was saying, before I was so RUDELY (looks at TCL angrily) INTERUPTED...!!

TCL: o_o What? *stares innocently at him, and fails miserably.* I'm an innocent little almost 13-year-old Crimson Lugia who can do no wrong.

BG2003: You already said that in one chappie.

TCL: Whatever. *goes back to eating cookies*

Giovanni: *shakes head to clear it of all this insanity* Um...where was I...? Oh yeah! Has anyone seen Princess Esther of Hyrule since the disclaimer?

TCL: *points to computer with her injured wing* Ow...over there...owie...

*Indeed, it seems the author didn't know Giovanni had a death warrant out for her. There I am, sitting there, oblivious to all else, typing out the story as it happens.*

Giovanni: *marches over and grabs me by the collar* Give my Essie her vocabulary back!

PEH: *sweatdrops* Oh, hi, hottie...thought: Oh man, he's hot when he's mad!

Giovanni: *hears thought* Shut up! Just give her back her vocab!

PEH: Um...I'd love to...but...I didn't take them away in the first place.

Giovanni: O_o Whatta mean?

PEH: Someone else replaced your beloved's wording, O Master Criminal Instigator and master of annihilation and pandemonium and capacious lexis, jargon, lingo, slang, argot, gobbledygook, and other forms of lingua franca.

Giovanni: O_o Huh? Say what? *cocks head to one side, and cocks right eyebrow (oh yeah...he doesn't have eyebrows...^_^;;;)* Um....translation in English...please??

Esther: Yeah, tootru. Yeah, really.

TCL: What the heck did PEH just say??

BG2003: I think she just said you were an idiotic turkey...

TCL: *Gasps* I AM NOT!!!

PEH: Um...I said, in English, O master Criminal Mastermind and master of mass destruction and chaos and large words (the other was all other forms of the word 'words'), and other forms of terminology.

Giovanni: Oh. Okay.

TCL: So you didn't call me an idiotic turkey?

PEH: No.

BG2003: I thought for sure that's what ya' called her. 

TCL: Oh, since ya' didn't call me that, can ya forgive me for thinking ya called me that?

PEH: Yes.

TCL: Thank you. ^_^

Giovanni: So, who stole her vocabulary?

PEH: Hmm...*gets a VERY devious plan in head* I don't know. But, I might be able to find out through a bit of research...if...

Giovanni: If what?

PEH: If you kiss me.

Giovanni: O_O IF I WHAT?!?!?!?!

PEH: You heard me. Pucker up if you want the info!

Giovanni: This is blackmail!!

PEH: Yeah, so?

Giovanni: No!!! I'll find the information myself, if I have to!

PEH: But it's easier this way!

Giovanni: So?! I utterly repudiate to kiss a 13-year-old!

PEH: Pardon?

Giovanni: I said, "I absolutely refuse to kiss a 13-year-old!"

TCL: Oh.

Giovanni: -_-;;; sheesh, what do they teach kids in Language Arts these days?

BG2003: Well, let's see...punctuation, grammar, spelling...

Giovanni: Don't they make you read part of a thesaurus??

BG2003: No...

Giovanni: Well, they did when I was in 8th grade, which wasn't too long ago, mind you.

LcCorp2: Sure, man. *glares at vacant container of Chlorinated Bleach despondently (sadly)* Anyone have any more chlorinated bleach??

PV: Sorry. *looks at her empty box of Cheese Nips curiously* Hey, where'd all my Cheese Nips go??

Amber (from PEH's School): *Eating Cheese Nips; she then sees everyone looking at her* What? What'd I do?

PEH: Amber? What are you doing here?

Amber: Regina (that's what everyone calls me at school)? What's everyone staring for?

PEH: You're eating PyroVulpix's Cheese Nips...-_-;;;

Amber: *sees PV, who is looking very hurt, offended, and angry indeed* Oh, I'm sorry, Pyro...whatever. Here. *hands over remaining Cheese Nips, which are few and far between; a couple of them are also mutilated.*

PV: *tears up* ;_; You...*sniff* ate all my...*sniff, sniff* Cheese Nips...WAHHH!!!

Amber: Whoops...sorry. I didn't eat ALL of them...

PV: JUST ABOUT!!! ;_; *Tries to blast Amber with an Fire Blast, but ends up hitting Giovanni*

Giovanni: *slightly charred* x_x Ow......

PEH: O_O YOU HURT HIM!!!!!!!

PV: *Cowers in fear before PEH* I didn't mean to...I'm sorry...

PEH: ^_^ Don't worry. I can kiss him now that he fainted.

*PEH walks over, and is about to kiss him, when...*

*A.N.McCormick breaks down the door with the 2-inch heels of her boots*

A.N. McCormick: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?! *Sees PEH* Uggg...Don't tell me, Cassandra. Let me guess...another version of your stupid story?

PEH (Cassandra): No, another insane chappie.

A.N.McCormick: Whatever. thought: I still don't like you...

PEH: And? Why do I care if you like me, Alex?

Alex (A.N.McCormick): DON'T CALL ME THAT ON FanFiction.Net!!

PEH: Why, Alexandra?

Alex: *very angry* DON'T CALL ME THAT EITHER!!

PEH: Oh, shut up and go back to your own place, Walls; back in the Harry Potter section, where you belong!

Alex: Umm...^_^;;;;; where is that, exactly? I sorta forgot...^_^;;;;;

PEH: Use your stupid magic to help you.

Alex: It's not stupid!

TCL: PEH, do you know her?

PEH: -_-;;;; Yes, she's a pal from McConnell Middle, if "Pal" is the right word...

Esther: *sees Alex, who is in all black (nothing new)* Bizzaroo.

Alex: What'd she just say?

PEH: She said "strange."

Alex: Grr... What was that spell again...? Oh, yes...AVADA KEDAVRA (some type of death spell...;me no like Harry Potter :-P)! *casts it on Esther*

Esther: *protects self with Nayru's Love; spell wears off* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You nogo defeat me! you cannot (actually, it's no can do) defeat me!

Alex: *pouting* Hey, no fair! You used a protection spell!

Esther: All's fair in smoochie love, war, and battles between an author and a character!

Alex: All right... AVADA KEDAVRA! *Casts on Esther again; There's no effect, even though Esther didn't use Nayru's Love again.*

Alex: *Pouting again* Why didn't it work...?

Esther: Doesn't work on Heroes of Time, so no sense casting it on Giovanni either. You'll just wear yourself out.

Alex: *pouting AND whining* Aw....that stinks.

Esther: ^_^ I know it does.

Alex: Well...I better get going...see if I can find a spell that'll work on Heroes of Time... where's the HP author's lounge?

Esther: Down the hall, 80th door on the right.

Alex: All right! *throws something like a smoke bomb; smoke fills the room* I'll get you, Esther, and your little boyfriend too!! *cackles like the wicked witch from wizard of Oz, and vanishes*

*smoke finally clears*

Giovanni: *has finally come to* *cough, cough* What the blazing you-know-where was that?

PEH: Someone from my school...^_^;;;    

Esther: The deranged and bizzaroo Goth/Wiccan?

PEH: Yeah. Her.

Esther: -_-;;;; oh gosh...she's annoying....

PEH: Oh yeah. She hates me with a passion, too.

TCL: Why's that?

PEH: I've got too many versions of my story, and I'm on the complete opposite side of the religious spectrum.

BG2003: How's that?

PEH: She's Goth/Wiccan, I'm Protestant/Baptist.

TCL: Oh.

Giovanni: Um...can we get back on subject, please?

PEH: Oh yeah. Totally forgot! ^_^;;;; Let's see...Oh yeah; Now I remember! I'll get ya the info if ya kiss me.

Giovanni: Forget it. Essie, you plan on staying here for a bit?

Esther: Perhaps, unless you need me for something.

Giovanni: Nah. You wanna stay here?

Esther: Maybe, but I might drive BG2003 Blast-T means angry, but in this context, it means mad. with me HamChat...Can I stay with ya'll?

BG2003: I guess I can survive it for awhile...just don't go overboard with it.

Esther: Thank-Q! That's tootru greatchu! Hampact I won't HuffPuff on and on! Thank you! That's really great! I promise I won't carry on and on!

BG2003: Oh boy...-_-;;; this may be a long day...

Giovanni: Bye, sweetie. *kisses Esther on forehead* I'll be back soon. Thanks for tolerating the HamChat, guys and gals! *leaves room*

Esther: Goodgo, and Gorush! Good Luck, and Hurry!

BG2003: *shakes head* I may need some Advil after all this...

Esther: Um...Hammos? Um...friends?

DClick: Yeah?

Esther: You mind if I zuzuzu on the couch? I don't snore or anything like that. You mind if I nap on the couch? *you know the rest.*

BG2003: That's it! We need a translator! *whistles loudly*

Esther: *covers ears* Not so Dingbang! Not so Noisy!

*a little fairy, Navi from Ocarina of Time to be exact, flies in*

Navi: Yeah?

LcCorp2: Could you translate for Esther?

TCL: Waitaminute! I can translate!

LcCorp2: Oh. Sorry, Navi. We don't need you anymore.

Navi: Okay. Bye bye! *flies off*

Esther: Bye-Q! Bye! So, can I zuzuzu on the couch?

TCL: I guess you can take a nap on it, just don't take up the whole thing.

Esther: Thank-Q!

~15 minutes later...~

Esther: *Is curled into a little ball, asleep on the couch*

BG2003: Finally, she's asleep! Now we don't have to listen to her.

PV: Waitaminute! What's Amber still doing here?

Amber: I'm not supposed to be here?

PV: No.

Amber: Oh. *exits*

PV: Now I have to raid the bloody pantry for more Cheese Nips...

TCL: *gazes sadly at empty cookie box* I'll join you! I need more cookies! *joins PV in the pantry*

BG2003: I gonna order a XXXX-LARGE pizza. Anyone want some? *No response* Okay, more for me! *calls pizza-guy*

LcCorp2: Hey, I wanna see if there's any more chlorinated bleach in the pantry! *joins the brigade*

PEH: Hey, I want some Baklava, then I'm ordering Octopus and Surf Clam sushi with miso soup!! ^_^ Yummy! *joins them in their search for their foods of choice* I'll get some for Esther too, cause I know she likes it too! ^_^ A person after my own heart! 

~~~~

~meanwhile...~

Giovanni: *searching files* Something's gotta be somewhere....*looks at clock* Oh man, it's lunchtime already, and I haven't gotten any results! *sighs deeply* Guess I'll return in a second, after lunch. *Replaces files*

Clock: *reads 12:30 P.m.*

Giovanni: *is about to leave when he spots something in the back of the file drawer* Hello, what's this...?

~~~

Narrator: What is it that Giovanni has found? Will it help him out any?? Will they find the real culprit? Will Mewtwo take over the world? Will BG2003 go batty? Will the HamHams rise up and take over planet Earth?? And most importantly...WILL THE FANFIC AUTHORS FIND THEIR FOODS OF CHOICE IN THE PANTRY?? Tune in next time for Part 2 of...MEWTWO'S REVENGE!


	7. MEWTWO'S REVENGE, PART 2!

**_Part 2 of Mewtwo's Revenge!!_**

**_By Princess Esther of Hyrule_**

Disclaimer: I own Esther and myself and that's it!

~~~~

~The author's lounge...~

*The authors (except for BG2003, who was ordering a pizza) inside all, while Esther was asleep, decided to raid the pantry, only to discover...NOTHING WAS LEFT!!! Except for the trail of Chlorinated bleach going beneath the pantry wall, which none of them noticed...*

TCL: *Sees her cookies are missing; every single one of them!* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! I cannot be! My cookies...;_;

PEH: My baklava...;_;

PV: My Cheese Nips...;_;

LcCorp2: My chlorinated bleach...;_;

*All of them looked at each other, and then...*

ALL: *hugging each other* ;_; WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*Kinda pathetic, to say the least...*

TCL: SHUT UP!! THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT!!

*Sorry*

PEH: My baklava...gone...*sniff, sniff, sniff*

BG2003: *sees PEH crying* There, there.

TCL: My cookies...*sniff, sniff, SNORT!*

LcCorp2: WHAT WAS THAT?!

TCL: Sorry...*sniff, sniff, sob*

LcCorp2: What are we gonna do? We cannot survive without our favorite foods!

PEH: Oh, we can survive all right!

PV: *sniff* How?

PEH: It's simple, really. We can survive, but we'd become...Oh I don't want to think about it!

LcCorp2: What? Think about what?

PEH: If we don't eating some of our favorite foods within 24 hours, we shall become...Oh, I cannot bear the thought of it!

TCL: Just tell us already!

PEH: We'd become...*shudders VERY violently*...sane...

TCL: *Gasps* You said the S-word!!

PEH: I know, I know...

LcCorp2: We'd become WHAT?!?!?!?!

BG2003: You heard her.

PV: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We cannot become.... that word!!!!! I'd rather perish!

TCL: Me too!!! 

PEH: *Finally takes notice of the trail of chlorinated bleach on floor* Hey, this trail of Chlorinated Bleach goes underneath the wall...

TCL: *didn't hear PEH because she's focusing on a little red button on the wall* Hmm...I wonder what this does... *presses it*

*All of them (except for Esther, of course) are thrown into a room on the other side of the Author's Lounge. It's like a basement, but bigger. Teetering around the room, almost in a drunk-like state, are Ganondorf and Bowser.*

Ganondorf: (slurred) I'm going to have to get some more of that Chlorinated bleach...*smacks into the wall* It gives ya such a high! *Smacks into another wall*

Bowser: (slurred) Oh yeah...some more baklava too...*smacks into the wall, then into Ganondorf*

PEH: So they snatched our goodies!

TCL: Those little (censored)!

PEH: Let's get them, guys!

All (except for Ganondorf and Bowser): YEAH! *everyone tackles Ganondorf and Bowser, which isn't hard to do.*

Ganondorf: (To PEH; slurred) Oh, hey, Link...You're looking hot today...

PEH: O_O;;;;;; That's it!! *Punches him out*

Bowser: (To TCL; slurred as well) Morning, my beautiful Mario...

TCL: O_O;;;;; *knocks him out as well*

PEH: Perverts.

TCL: Oh yeah!

PV: Now, let's get some more supplies at the store, now that we've dealt with the problem!

All: *except for Ganon and Bowser, obviously* YEAH!

*They all hightail it to the store, except for BG2003, who stays to wait for her pizza*

~Meanwhile...~

*Giovanni has pulled out whatever was in the back of the file drawer and blows off the dust*

Giovanni: *coughs from the dust* All right, little fellow. Let's go to lunch, and see what's in you. *Goes to the local Diner*

~At the diner...~

Giovanni: Okay, let's see what's in you....*opens the file* Hmmm...What's with all these papers...? I wonder if this is the lead I'm looking for... *reads heading of first paper* " Top 10 reasons to love Team Rocket"?  *Reads another* "Top 10 reasons to love cookies"? *And another...* "Top 10 reasons why Giovanni is a lunatic"?! "By TCL"?! Why that little....grr....*reads another* "Top 10 reasons Mewtwo is the villain of this Fan Fiction"? *Scratches head, contemplating* what's the bloody heck is a Mewtwo?

~Meanwhile...~

Mew2: *watching Giovanni* BLOODY H***!! WE'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!

Pika2: Don't worry. He doesn't know what you are cause ya erased his memory, therefore he can't find us!

Mew2: I sure hope so, for all of our sakes.

~Meanwhile...~

TCL: Yay! Cookies!! *Huggles HUGE tub of every possible type of cookie imaginable, and even some unimaginable*

PEH: Baklava!! *Huggles packages tightly*

LcCorp2: CHLORINATED BLEACH! *Huggles 259,591,159 containers, which weigh together 2,999,999,999,999,999 pounds*

PV: AND CHEESE NIPS, OH MY!!

BG2003: *pizza guy arrives* PIZZA!!!

Pizza dude: Dude, that'll be, like, 465,215,358,591 (four-hundred, sixty-five billion, two-hundred fifteen-million, three-hundred fifty-eight thousand, five-hundred, ninety-one) pokebucks!

BG2003: O_O WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?!

Pizza dude: Nothin', man!

BG2003: I'm BookGirl2003, and I own the company you work for!

Pizza Dude: Whoops, sorry, dude!

BG2003: Well, I've got news for you, "Dude"!

Pizza dude: Like, what's that, boss man?

BG2003: YOU'RE FIRED!! *Kicks him hard, and sends him flying*

Pizza Guy: *flying through the air* Dude, this is, like, totally uncool! *Ping!*

BG2003: PIZZA! AND IT'S MINE, ALL MINE!!! *Huggles it protectively*

*Door bell rings*

PEH: Oh, it must be my food! I'll be right back, ya'll!

*Japanese guy at door*

Japanese dude (Japanese accent): You order Octopus and Surf Clam sushi, with Miso Soup and Tofu?

PEH: Yeah. How much?

JD: Fifty thousand pokebucks, if you please.

PEH: O_O 50,000 POKEBUCKS?!

JD: Yes, why you ask?

PEH: Me friend Sato owns the take out company!

JD: Oh, so you get 95% discount!

PEH: That's right! So, how much?

JD: *calculates figure* 2,500 pokebucks, please.

PEH: ^_^ I love having friends who can pull some strings! *Forks over cash*

JD: Thank you! *exit, stage right even (snagglepuss^_^) !*

BG2003: *whining* How come you get a discount?

PEH: Hey, you didn't even pay, so shut your trap!

BG2003: Oh yeah...^_^;;;

*They all sit there eating their food, when suddenly...*

Giovanni: *runs in, but can't brake fast enough and slams into the wall!* Owwwwwwwwwww.....

PV: X-) That HAD to hurt!

Giovanni: *soprano-tone voice* It did....owwwieee....*falls backward onto rug*

PEH: Giovanni, speak to me!

Giovanni: *_VERY_ dazed* Oh, look at all the pretty Persians...*faints*

TCL: Ya know, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him....^_^

PV: That's bad...and very scary also.

TCL: I know…when PEH takes says she's gonna write an insane fic, she's gonna write an insane fic!

PEH: I wonder what he rushed in here for?

BG2003: This is your chance, Cassandra!

PEH: Huh?

BG2003: Kiss him while he's still unconscious!

PEH: Oh, but I couldn't!

BG2003: And why not?

PEH: That would be taking advantage of him! I cannot do that! It wouldn't be right!

BG2003: Cass, if you don't do it now, you may not get another chance for a VERY long time!

PEH: Hmm…I see your point…um…let me think…*contemplates for about thirty seconds; Jeopardy music plays*

~Meanwhile…in some room in Hyrule Castle~

Link: I still think the room would look better with some more green in it…

Zelda: Now that you mention it, it kind of does, doesn't it?

Link: Yeah. I wonder how my sister's doing.

Zelda: Ya' mean Esther?

Link: Ya'. I'm getting worried about her, being alone and all.

Zelda: Don't worry, Giovanni's with her.

Link: 'Giovanni', as in the Third Hero of Time?

Zelda: Yeah, why?

Link: That's what I was afraid of.

Zelda: Link, I hardly think that she would…he would…they would…um…ya' know…I don't think they would do that, Link. Besides, she'd smack him if he tried to…um…do anything…

Link: Agh! Zelda, don't say that! You're putting nasty images in my head!

Zelda: Whoops, sorry! ^_^

Link: That's it; I've got to go save her!

Zelda: But, Link, it's our honeymoon…

Link: Zelda, my love, she could be in grave danger! I'm sorry I must leave you, Zelda! I'll be back soon! *Disappears into thin air*

Zelda: Oh, I do wish he'd stop doing that. -_-;;;

~Back in the Author's Lounge…~

PEH: *is still thinking if she should take advantage of the situation or not*…(in deep thought)

TCL: He's liable to wake up any minute now…

PEH: You're right! I'm going to go against me values and take advantage of him! ^_^

PV: Remember; don't go to far, now…

PEH: O_O Eww….you make it sound really wrong…-_-;;;;

PV: I didn't mean in THAT way!! ^_^;;;

PEH: Oh, well! Wish me luck, ya'll! *Goes over to here Giovanni is laying there, unconscious* Here goes nothing...*plants lips on his, then…A split second later, she goes bouncing off the walls!*

PEH: YAHOO!!! *Bouncing of the walls like a crazed Psycho-bunny*

TCL: O_O Whoa! *Ducks as PEH flies over her head*

PV: She's gone way of her rocker this time!

BG2003: ^_^ Cool, I didn't know that could happen.

TCL: What?

BG2003: Her going Looney when she kissed him.

LcCorp2: Boy, is he going to be mad when he finds out! ^_^

*Suddenly, Link appears*

Link: *sees The Flying PEH* WHOA! *Ducks just in time as she passes overhead* What in Din's name was that? Was it a Keese (a enemy from the LoZ series that's a bat)

PV: No…

Link: A blue Bubble (a skull with wings surrounded by blue flame)?

TCL: no…

Link: a Fire Keese (bat with fire)?

BG2003: No…

Link: Oh, I know, it's a WallMaster (dismembered hand that can take you back to the start of the dungeon if allowed to)!

TCL: No! It's Princess Esther of Hyrule! AHH! *Ducks as PEH comes a little to close to her feathered body*

Link: Don't worry, I shall protect you! *Puts shield in front of him. PEH then slams into it and falls, unconscious, to the ground*

PEH: (Very dazed) Ooooo…look at all the pretty Giovannis…*faint*

TCL: Thank you! Don't worry, your sister is safe!

Link: That's good! Bye! *Disappears again*

PV: Why do I have a feeling Gio's going to come to soon?

Giovanni: *comes to* Uhhhh…owwie…where am I? *Shakes head and looks around* Oh, I'm in the Author's Lounge…Hey, why's PEH on the floor, unconscious?

TCL: Um…it's a long story. Ya' better sit down while we explain…

~30 minutes later~

Giovanni: Ehhh….*shudders at the thought that PEH kissed him* That's scary…

PV: So, what'd ya' come racing in here for?

Giovanni: *pulls file out of jacket* This is why. I found it in my record cabinet and examined it. There's something called, "Top 10 reasons Mewtwo is the villain of this Fan Fiction," and I decided to share it with you all, and see if we can figure out who this "Mewtwo" is…

~After much debate…five hours later…~

Esther: *waking up* (Yawns) My, that was a good zuzuzu… My, that was a good nap…

Giovanni: *huggles her* Night, Essie.

Esther: O_o But I just woke up…

Giovanni: Yeah, but it's nighttime outside, see? *Points outside to the pitch-black sky*

Esther: Oh. So, did ya' find any clues?

Giovanni: Yeah, but we're trying to find out where the culprit is…

Esther: Who's the culprit?

Giovanni: Something called Mewtwo…

Esther: O_o Whazat?

Giovanni: I still haven't a clue…

*Suddenly, Mewtwo appears!*

Mew2: Spammit, you have figured it out!

Giovanni: Who are you?

Mew2: I'm your worst nightmare…

Giovanni: No, my worst nightmare would be PEH kissing me again. *Glares at PEH, who is still unconscious*

Mew2: O_O She kissed you?!

Esther: O_O (thought: _Eeehhhh…scary…)_

Giovanni: Yeah, why?

Mew2: *shudders very violently* that's scary…

Giovanni: Yeah, it is…so, who are you?

Mew2: I'm Mewtwo.

Giovanni: O_O So, you're the culprit! *Somehow gets Mewtwo into a headlock* Give my Essie her Vocabulary back!

Mew2: (In pain) Okay…okay…*waves hand towards Esther* There.

Esther: Listen…Hey, it worked, my vocabulary's back! YIPEE!!

Giovanni: ^_^ Yay!

All authors in the Lounge, especially BG2003: YAY!!!!!!

Mew2: looks like I gotta go think up a new plan…*disappears*

Esther: Good riddance!

Giovanni: Now, when's that blasted PEH going to come to? I haven't all day to get back at her!

PEH: *Comes to*

Giovanni: Finally, now you're dead…hey! *Sees that Esther is holding onto him* Lemme go, Essie!

Esther: Nuh-uh! You aren't getting anywhere near her, after what happened!

Giovanni: She kissed me while I was unconscious! I didn't kiss her! :-P Belch!

Esther: Oh well. Come on, I'll buy you dinner for helping me out! ^_^

Giovanni: Umm…ya' know, that's not really necessary…

Esther: Sure it is! Come on!

Giovanni: ^_^ *shrugs* Guess there's no point in arguing.

PEH: I LIKE PURPLE BANANAS!!! SEASHELLS IN A CIRCLE ATTRACT PRETTY LADYBUGS!! WATCH OUT FOR THE FLYING COFFEE MUG ON RUNWAY 379!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 8-D

TCL: She's back!

BG2003: And more insane than ever…^_^;;;;

Giovanni: Um…^_^;;;; I think that's our cue to exit, stage left!

Esther: ^_^;;; Um…yeah! *They both hightail it*

PEH: *Laughs hysterically*

~~~~~

MWHAHAHAHA! That was insane! ^_^ Please R&R!! By the way…Cosmic Mewtwo's When Pickles Fly rocks!! LOL!!


	8. Strange random Insanity, stuff that will...

VERY RANDOM INSANITY

**_CHAPTER 8_**

**_By Princess Esther of Hyrule_**

Disclaimer: The first thing Esther does was an idea given to me from a girl at my school by the name of Jennifer Ashman. I own only me, myself, and Iren…I mean Esther, and some others I cannot yet think of! ^_^ And the song _Peanut Butter shall take over the world!_ is mine also. Otherwise, Nothing new!

Note: If it's in bold and italics, it's the author talking (like this: **_See?_**).

I warn you now: This is what happens when you've got ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and you take your time-release capsules in the morning, like you're supposed to, only to go insane again! ^_^ Yay! Current time of writing:  TIME \@ "M/d/yy h:mm am/pm" 12/20/02 10:17 PM. 

******

*Our scene begins in Cassandra (Better known as Princess Esther of Hyrule)'s bedroom. A Caucasian blonde girl is lying on her stomach on her bed, thinking of an idea for her next insane chappie for "VERY RANDOM INSANITY"…*

Blonde girl: I'm not a blonde!

**_Then what are you?_**

Blonde Girl: I'm a light brunette with blonde highlights!

**_Oh, okay._**

*Ahem…anyway, this _light brunette_ is contemplating what she should come up with now that "Mewtwo's Revenge" is finished.*

Brunette Girl: You've got that darned piece of information right. Think, think. Think, think. Think…Oh, I cannot think properly! ARGH! *Hits head against mattress in frustration; she then looks at a picture of Giovanni by her bedside table* Oh, Giovanni, my love, how can I think clearly when your voice…your image haunt me day and night, night and day!? Oh, but what cruel irony; to think I created Estakishipping (A/N: as if I haven't give ya'll enough hints: Giovanni/Esther is Estakishipping. It used to be Heroshipping, but that was already taken by Meowth/Cassandra [from the series]) because the threat of losing you to Delia Ketchum was so great that I created a character who lacks many of my faults, whom I created in the fifth-grade, whom I…

**_Talk about sheer poetry. Talk about young infatuation._**

**_Talk about making your stomach turn! Anyway…_**

**_CHILL ALREADY!_**

BG (Brunette Girl): But I…

**_Quit with the melodrama!_**

BG: O_o that was melodramatic?

**_Umm…lemme check, Cass. _**_*Checks thesaurus* **Yep: Very overdramatic.**_

BG: Wait a minute! Who are you?

**_Your Arch-alias, Cassandra._**

Cassandra (BG): O_O You mean…****my creativity and my insanity?!

**_Yep!_**

Cassandra: I'm so glad to see you again!! I need you!

**_I can see that. Hang on._**

*They then merge to create an insane black-furred Persian, who loves Sushi, Baklava, and of course…Giovanni! They are now…Princess Esther of Hyrule!*

Princess Esther of Hyrule: Now this is more like it! Now…*heads to computer* where should I begin, _purr…_(remember, she's a Persian, so she can purr ^_^) *she contemplates, which is a big fancy word for thinking^_^* Ah, yes. A _purr_-fect idea! Hee-hee-hee! Maybe I can get another kiss for Vanni if I plan it accordingly…^_^ hee-hee!

~Later…~

(It's a beautiful day at the Author's Lounge, which has PEH (Who is identified on FF.Net stories as Princess Esther of Hyrule [PEH], not Esther.), TCL, LcCorp2, Bookgirl2003, Giovanni, Esther, and that's it. ^_^ Let the insanity begin!)

Esther put on an elf suit and did the Mexican Hat Dance, while wearing bunny ears and carrying Easter eggs in a pretty pastel basket, while singing over and over, "_Peanut Butter shall take over the world!_"

TCL started reciting the Japanese alphabet.

Giovanni, claiming that the song _Peanut Butter shall take over the world!_, was his and not the author's, decided to call his lawyer so he could sue. Then he remembered that he was already going to "law school" in Mrs. Demos' class (Mrs. Demos is my 8th grade Social Studies teacher. She is also my Homeroom teacher.), and that he had passed the Bar Exam they took on the Constitution (I don't know if I passed yet or not. I only took it Wednesday, December 18th -_-;;;.), therefore making him eligible to be in the big court case at the end of the school year. So he decided to drop it for now.

BookGirl2003 ate one million strawberry starbursts and strangled Jingle from Hamtaro.

Lccorp2 played with Barbie and Ken dolls, then roasted them all over a big fire and seasoned them with Chlorinated Bleach, honey, and barbeque.

I started bouncing off the walls like silly putty (so what else is new? ^_^), while screaming, "Pretty peacocks with blue and white feathers make great senators!" at the top of her lungs.

"I plead the 28th amendment!" Ash yells in court.

"There is no 28th amendment, Mr. Ketchum." Butch (who was the judge) says, "at least don't think there is…"

**_"_**There isn't. Only goes up to 27**_."_** I say.

"Why?" Ash asks.

"Because the Constitution is a basic framework and not a incredibly detailed document, it doesn't need many changes, unlike Georgia's constitution, which has been amended over three hundred times, which is because Georgia's constitution was a detailed set of instructions. Plus, do you know how Congress passes a amendment?**_"_**

"Yes, but I bet you're about to tell us anyway." Giovanni yawns, because he has already heard about the whole thing from Mrs. Demos (How he got in her classroom without her noticing is beyond me. Must be one of those technological things…).

"That's right!" I squeal. "Here's how. Some one from either the Senate or the House of Reps. proposes one. They vote on it, and if it gets 2/3 of the vote, it goes to the states, which then vote on it. ¾ of the states', which is roughly 33 of the states, vote is required to turn it into an Amendment. Now, about that you pleading an amendment thing, Ash…

(2,000,000 hours later…)

(As I explain still, we get a good look at the rest of the courtroom. TCL, LcCorp2, and Bookgirl2003 are all piled in a corner, asleep. Esther is sleep on one of the chairs (she was interested in my speech, but she fell asleep because her body need it.). Giovanni, who has been constructing paper airplanes and flying them across the room for around 1,000 hours now in complete silence, finally can't take it any more.

"I plead the 8th!" He yells. Everyone looks at him strangely. Even I stop my tirade.

"Um…what's everybody staring for…?" He asks, sweatdropping.

"Um, ya' yelled, 'I plead the 8th!'. Why do you plead the 8th?" I ask.

**_A/N: If this is boring ya'll, don't worry. The history class will be over in just a second. I promise. ^_^_**

"Because the 8th amendment says that bails, punishment, and/or fines shall not be unreasonable!" He says bitterly.

"I know that. So?" I ask.

"This is definitely unreasonable punishment!" He yells. "Who agrees with me?!" He asks the crowd. (Everyone raises his or her hands.)

So they kick me out of court.

"I'll show you! I'll show you all!" I yell. 

**_See? I told you the history lesson would be over soon._** ^_^

Giovanni is now suing me for being very unconstitutional, and says I broke the 6th amendment, which means you have the right to a speedy trial. I am now suing him and everyone else in the courtroom because they took away my freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by Amendment one.

Giovanni whacks me over the head with a 2-by-4 so I shut up.

Me: x_x (beautiful silence follows; don't worry. Me no dead: just unconscious. ^_^;;;)

TCL: She actually shut up! Yahoo! Party at my place! Free cookies for everyone!

Everyone (but me.): Yay!

Party at TCL's ensues.

(Each author [but me, obviously] has his or her own table with their favorite foods on it. TCL, meanwhile, saved money because she didn't have to buy two million pounds of baklava.)

Esther: It's _soooo_ nice not being bugged by her, isn't it, Vanni?

Giovanni: Uh-huh. Good thing Mrs. Demos taught us about the bill of rights ^_^! We may not be alive now if she hadn't.

Esther: Well, at least we know history is good for something! ^_^

Giovanni: Yeah. Ya' know, I bet there's a moral to this story…

Esther: A moral…to one of PEH's fics?

Giovanni: Possibly.

Esther: Lemme guess…'don't take history class too lightly, because you may wish later that you hadn't,'?

Giovanni: Sounds like it to me.

(Jerry Springer walks in front of Camera)

Jerry: And now a final thought for today…

Alex (from the game show chapter): COME BACK HERE, YOU!

Jerry: AHHH! (Runs from Alex)

Giovanni: -_-;;; the final thought is…that there is no final thought, so go away.

Esther: But that was a final thought right there.

Giovanni: O_o huh?

Esther: You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.

Giovanni: (very confused) Come again?

Esther: (sighs) -_-;; You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.

Giovanni: (whining) You're confusing me…

Esther: How can you be confused? I just said that you said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.

Giovanni: (_VERY_ confused) Um…TCL!

(TCL flies over)

TCL: (mouth stuffed with cookies) Mwhat? That's supposed to be 'what?' but it's a little hard to talk with a billion cookies in your mouth.

Giovanni: Essie, explain to her what you just tried to explain to me…

Esther: Um…okay. Jerry Springer walked on stage and said 'And now our final thought for today…' yet he never got to finish because Alex Quebec was chasing him. Then Giovanni said, 'the final thought is…that there is no final thought, so go away.' Then I said, 'But that was a final thought right there.' And he said, 'Huh?' And I explained, 'You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.' Then he said. 'Come again?' And so I repeated myself. Then he said, 'You're confusing me.' And I asked him, 'How can you be confused? I just said that you said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.' Then he called you.

TCL: O_o Um…I haven't a clue. Sorry. (Goes back inside.)

Giovanni: I'm going inside too.

Esther: Huh? Why?

Giovanni: I'm going to see if Meowth didn't not spike the punch again.

Esther: O_o so you're going inside to see if Meowth did spike the punch again, or that he did not spike the punch again?

Giovanni: I meant what I said.

Esther: That means you're going to see if Meowth spiked the punch again, yet how do you know if it was spiked in the first place?

Giovanni: -_- Um…Okay, I'm taking an Advil.

Esther: What, does your head hurt?

Giovanni: Yeah.

Esther: Why does it hurt?

Giovanni: May I ask you a question, Essie?

Esther: ^_^ Sure.

Giovanni: Es, why are you so inquisitive today?

Esther: (shrugs) I don't know, but why does your head hurt?

Giovanni: From you being so inquisitive.

Esther: But I thought it was because I was confusing you.

Giovanni: That too...

Esther: Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

Giovanni: 's okay. I think I'll go get a Barq's root beer while I'm at it…

Esther: I'll join you! I love Barq's!

Giovanni: (thinking) _I don't think I'll ever understand women…_

Esther: (thinking) _I don't think I'll ever understand men…_

(And so, they go inside together.)

**_As this Fan Fiction subdivision comes to a denouement, specified questions are left unreciprocated: Will Giovanni ever convey to Esther how he truly feels about her? Will Esther enlighten Giovanni about how she truly feels about him? Will Giovanni ever be au fait with women – and if he does, does that mean he's more affluent & more contented than anybody else (and forthrightly, who cares?)? –?  Will Esther ever comprehend men? Why was Ash in court in the first place, for heaven's sake? Why was Butch the judge, and not Judge Judy, or Wapner, or whoever? Is Giovanni Ash's father? Is Ash's father Prof. Oak, Prof. Hale, or someone else who isn't even on the series? Or is it a Star Wars, Episode I Cliché, in that there was no father, and Ash was conceived by the midichloreans, or whatever?! Will the person responsible for bringing you this narrative revolutionize the appellation of Giovanni/Esther shipping all over again? These subjects may perhaps by no means be laid to respite, nevertheless we can for ever and a day hope! ^_^ _**

Giovanni: SOJOURN EXPLOITING SCORES OF DANG CUMBERSOME AND CAPACIOUS LEXIS, OTHERWISE I'LL SMACK YOU OVER THE CRANIUM YET AGAIN VIA THE 2-BY-4! Um…I mean, stop using so many dang big words, or I'll hit you over the head again with the 2-by-4! Man, I hang around you too much…-_-;;;

Me: O_O Meep! Okay, let me put that in small, easy to understand words:

**_As this Fan Fiction chapter comes to a close, certain questions are left unanswered: Will Giovanni ever tell Esther how he truly feels about her? Will Esther tell Giovanni about how she truly feels about him? Will Giovanni ever understand women – and if he does, does that mean he's better off than anybody else (and frankly, who cares?)? –?  Will Esther ever understand men? Why was Ash in court in the first place, for heaven's sake? Why was Butch the judge, and not Judge Judy, or Wapner, or whoever? Is Giovanni Ash's father? Is Ash's father Prof. Oak, Prof. Hale, or someone else who isn't even on the series? Or is it a Star Wars, Episode I Cliché, in that there was no father, and Ash was conceived by the midichloreans, or whatever?! Will the author for bringing you this story change the name of Giovanni/Esther shipping again? These questions may never be answered, but we can always hope! ^_^ _**

Giovanni: Ah, that's much better. ^_^

**_Strange people these days…_**

Giovanni: What?!

**_Oh, nothing, nothing at all…_**

*****

Love it? Hate it? Hiding under the bed because of the history part seems scary to you? ^_^ READ AND REVIEW!!

And also, please read and review _The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time_ and _Acquaintance_, other Fan Fics by me! Please do it! You _know_ you want to…^_^ I'm not updating _The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time_, and I'm not putting my third story, _Ruins_ (that's the temporary title), up on FF. Net until I get one or two more reviews for_ The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time_, depending if TCL reads it and reviews it. If she does, I'll update without a second review, but only if she does! I mean it, too. No ones reviewed it since chappie 3, or was it 2…*sniff, sniff* ;_; DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?!?!?!

Giovanni: Oh, cry us a river...

**_Okay…_** (Cries a river) ****

Really, I don't care if you flame me for it, or say something not encouraging, just somebody review! I would appreciate you saying it's good, though…^_^


End file.
